/u/dont-mention-it's posts
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[WP] “Wait ma’am, nothing was stolen?” “Nothing, yes.” “And there was no obvious point of entry?” “Not that I could find.” “So how do you know there was a break in?” “My place was a mess yesterday, then i wake up this morning and it’s the cleanest I’ve ever seen it!”
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[WP] When Hells invasion was stopped in the dark ages, it was said that they would return 1000 years in the future. We thought we were ready for them given our major advances in technology, but what we hadn’t accounted for was that Hell had 1000 years to advance as well.
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[WP] Ever since you were a kid, your parents have been prepping for an apocalypse that they were certain was coming. An apocalypse did end up coming after years of preparations, but it’s too bad that they were preparing for the wrong kind of apocalypse.
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[WP] Thousands of years ago, you created the greatest empire ever made. Now, you’re on the side of those that want to destroy it.
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[WP] As Jupiter sits in his pantheon, a man walks up to him with a stack of papers. He tells Jupiter that he is being sued by Zeus for violating the copyright held by the Greek gods.
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[WP] Your kind has conquered thousands of planets, but Earth was a special case. Never before had you seen a dominant species almost completely wipe themselves out when all you did was announce your presence.
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[WP] As the resident Dragonslayer you’ve been hired to go take care of a dragon harassing the town. When you get to it’s nest you find that it isn’t a dragon, but a wyvern, and you begin to panic.
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[WP] The ones who ended the world did so with the belief that they would ascend to Heaven and be with their god when rapture came. So imagine their thoughts when there was no afterlife, only a cold and empty void to be alone in for all eternity.
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