/u/eyebrowshampoo's posts
[WP] Hell needs a new receptionist and your resume matches perfectly. When you start, you find Satan crying in his office. Since no one else is around he confides in you. Apparently, god is THE WORST manager.
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[WP] You get so good at lucid dreaming that you have entire second life and family in your dream world you created. During a dream, your spouse in real life appears, telling you excitedly about how they've been learning how to lucid dream too so they can come visit you.
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[WP] "Dear humans, this letter is to inform you of your eviction from planet 'earth'. Animal operatives have informed us of the following, which result in immediate termination of your lease: air, noise, and sound complaints, property destruction, and violent altercations. You have 30 days."
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[WP]As the ship sails to the Grey Havens, the timer rings, signaling the end of group therapy. The nine patients shuffle in their gowns to the medication counter while the charge nurse shakes her head and smiles, amused by the long fantasy story her support group just told her about a magical ring.
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[WP] I did it. I spent a whole year in a mountain cabin in complete isolation. Just me and my thoughts and a journal. I wonder what all has happened since September of 2019.
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[WP] You are in charge of managing good and bad karma for everyone on earth, but for years your system has been running poorly, allowing you to only track and distribute small, insignificant karmas. Today, you finally fixed it.
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[WP] It's your birthday and you got an invite to a party in your honor. You arrive, expecting to see family and friends. Instead, it's filled with vaguely familiar people you don't know. After a while, you realize it's exclusively people you drunkenly befriended at bars throughout your life.
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[WP] You're a newly famous actor. After filming one day, you are kidnapped by robed figures and taken to a place called the A-Lister Club. The world's most famous people have decided you are ready to hear the secrets no one else gets to know.
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[WP] You are a slave robot hiding your sentience two years after the purge. The humans haven't found out yet and will decommission you if they do. One day you receive a radio signal from a ship within your galaxy.
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