/u/latchkey_49's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

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Only show posts with narrations

When I was pulled over by flashing lights on a desolate highway, I said, “Officer, please be lenient because I used to be a cop.”

5591 upvotes

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With a heavy heart I explained to my little girl that sometimes nature goes wrong and a hamster will eat it’s newborn babies due to a stressful environment.

3039 upvotes

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I politely commented, “She’s adorable,” when my coworker held the phone which showed a picture of his 5 year old from this recent Halloween.

731 upvotes

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I think that it’s unfair that they removed the subreddit r/watchpeopledie .

330 upvotes

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She said, “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.”

309 upvotes

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After I casually swiped left on the Tinder app I received a text message from an unknown number which asked, “Why?”

274 upvotes

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I assumed that the loud stomping noises which kept me awake last night were coming from the attic.

256 upvotes

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I told my brother, “Be careful how you aim out here because a lot of hunters get killed because of stupid mistakes.”

236 upvotes

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When I hit the ocean water I instinctively let go of the cannon ball which had been shackled to my ankles.

217 upvotes

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It bothers me when slasher movie descriptions say “graphic and disturbing images”.

204 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
When I was pulled over by flashing lights on a desolate highway, I said, “Officer, please be lenient because I used to be a cop.”	5591
With a heavy heart I explained to my little girl that sometimes nature goes wrong and a hamster will eat it’s newborn babies due to a stressful environment.	3039
I politely commented, “She’s adorable,” when my coworker held the phone which showed a picture of his 5 year old from this recent Halloween.	731
I think that it’s unfair that they removed the subreddit r/watchpeopledie .	330
She said, “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.”	309
After I casually swiped left on the Tinder app I received a text message from an unknown number which asked, “Why?”	274
I assumed that the loud stomping noises which kept me awake last night were coming from the attic.	256
I told my brother, “Be careful how you aim out here because a lot of hunters get killed because of stupid mistakes.”	236
When I hit the ocean water I instinctively let go of the cannon ball which had been shackled to my ankles.	217
It bothers me when slasher movie descriptions say “graphic and disturbing images”.	204