/u/loopymon's posts
[WP] Most doctors don’t read the fine print of the Hippocratic Oath. You are one of those doctors, which explains why you’re now sitting in a tiny spaceship with one very angry alien.
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[WP] You are a historian who studied necromancy so that you could bring dead languages back to life. But the local superhero never trusted you, and their constant surveillance is starting to make it difficult to hide your Latin speaking army.
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[WP] Humans who protect vampires during the daytime are known as dark guardians. Some dark guardians do it for the money; others do it for a chance at immortality. Your reasons are entirely more altruistic.
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[WP] Your first assignment as a reporter for the Oracle is to interview the angry ogre that lives in the swamp. Turns out the swamp is actually a toxic waste dump, and he’s just a human that’s been altered by all the radiation. The “keep out” signs are there for everyone’s safety.
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[WP] Everywhere you go today, you keep finding M&Ms. In your bed, in your car, at work—M&Ms are all over the place. But here’s the strange part—no matter how hard you look, you can’t seem to find any red ones.
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[WP] After a multi-billion dollar expedition, scientists finally penetrate the treasure chamber of the Sphinx. It's supposed to contain the supreme knowledge of the ancients, but all the scientists find is a wall covered in hieroglyphs: ↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A.
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[WP] The General looks at the blips on the radar screen in front of her. Near the middle of Antarctica, a large red dot is moving slowly northward. With a start, she looks at the calendar on her desk. It's June 25. "Fuck," she swears. "It's Reverse Santa!"
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[WP] After the zombie apocalypse, the rate of natural deaths drastically decreases, as the zombies turn all those they kill. Distraught, Death works to protect the surviving humans—so they can live, breed, and die a natural death.
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[WP] Bored with heavenly politics, Dionysus relocates to the Napa valley to start a vineyard. All is well until Wine Spectator magazine labels his Cabernet Sauvignon as “unashamedly flawed, possessing notes of motor oil and bruised fruit, while evoking memories of burnt grass and week old gravy.”
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