/u/loopymon's posts
[WP] Vampires don’t need blood to survive, just food with high levels of iron. You are confronted by a vampire one night after coming home from doing the shopping. You’re excited that they might make you immortal, but all they really want is your spinach.
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[WP] You find a genie and use your one wish to wish for 100 wishes. The genie smiles and proceeds to grant you the most useless 100 wishes he has granted in the past.
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[WP] Magic is cast through music. When you are affected by magic, that music replays constantly in your head. You’ve had the same strong stuck in your head for weeks now, but you’re sure you’ve never head it before—until this morning in line at the cafe, when you hear someone else humming the tune.
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[WP] Heroes and villains may be strong, but they lack wit. That’s why they come to you—you offer a custom script writing service for supers. Whether it’s a witty one liner, an evil monologue, or a creative way to finish their adversary, they know you’ve got them covered.
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[WP] You’ve just been charged with murder in the eighth degree. Which is really confusing, because the prosecutors are going to extraordinary lengths to prove your connection to the victim when you very clearly and unambiguously confessed to the crime.
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[WP] “I do not understand why the large man must enter the house through the smoke escape mechanism.” You sigh, and curse the day you were selected to explain the concept of “Santa Claus” to the alien delegation.
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[WP] The supernaturals have won—every human on Earth has been turned into a zombie, vampire, or were-creature. But they’re a secretive bunch, so they don’t know. They all go to great lengths to convince the other supernaturals that they are human, despite all of the evidence to the contrary.
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[WP] The first alien strike took out all forms of stimulants on Earth. In theory it would make humans more docile and easier to subvert. Unfortunately theory didn’t take into account the actions of a human suffering caffeine withdrawal.
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[WP] Historians call the event “Janet’s Corollary”, when a well meaning but hard of hearing legal secretary accidentally amended terrorism laws. For a brief period, mathematicians lived in fear, as many of them were arrested for possessing—and in some cases distributing—weapons of math construction.
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