/u/loopymon's posts
[WP] Man flu becomes more severe the higher your social status. When a doctor or politician gets man flu, the entire town feels the impact. But when a king gets man flu…
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If bald men only had sons and full-haired gentlemen had daughters, we could eradicate baldness in a single generation.
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[WP] “No!” Screams the demon, fear in its eyes. “How can this be? I can only be harmed by a being without a soul!” You smile and remove your hat to show a long, flowing mane of red hair.
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[WP] You didn’t think there would be much interest from your child’s class to hear about your job working with trains. But now you’re here, you’re the star of the show—they seem fascinated, and can’t stop asking question about your work on the U-Tube.
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[WP] You’re the second Dark Lord to ravage the land. You’re not quite as dark as the first Dark Lord, but people still seemed to be afraid of you… mostly.
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[WP] Turns out Lucifer was just a really good grifter, and Hell is merely the result of world’s longest running pyramid scheme.
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[WP] “But God,” you plead. “You’re supposed to love all of your creatures equally!” “Ha!” The God laughs. “The whole reason I made so many of you was so I could pick and choose. Now get down on your knees and put your hands behind your head.”
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[WP] "Surprise!" Cries the man, removing his mask. "I'm Jeff Bezos!" The other man pauses, then removes his own mask. "No, I'm Jeff Bezos!" Both men turn towards the sound of the door opening. In walks Jeff Bezos.
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[WP] As the smoke subsides, the figure in the pentagram is revealed as a forty year old man, dressed in a child’s school uniform and holding a large wooden ruler. “Kid,” says the demon. “This one’s for free. Stay the hell away from Tinder.”
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