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/u/monkeymutilation's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

'INSERT COIN TO CONTINUE... 10... 9... 8... 7... 6...'

3724 upvotes
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Every night I check under my kid's bed for monsters.

108 upvotes
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After three days in the desert, the vultures stopped circling and began to land.

61 upvotes
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After forgetting to bring my CPAP machine on vacation with me, I was glad to get home and strap it on for a decent night's sleep.

58 upvotes
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Unfortunately, I missed the wedding.

52 upvotes
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In that instant, I realised it wasn't that they were too stupid to paint 'Beware of Dog' properly.

48 upvotes
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I teased my wife about how she'd been extra affectionate last night, stroking my chest and neck as we drifted off to sleep.

41 upvotes
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Who even reads all the crazy possible side effects on their medications?

20 upvotes
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"In the spirit of curiosity and perseverance, we take these first steps on behalf of all man-,"

12 upvotes
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