/u/mopeiobebeast's posts
[WP] They called you a loner, a weirdo. They said an antisocial nerd like you would never make any friends. Well, who's laughing now? You've made friends! Why, you've made LOTS of friends! But the thing is, the new friends you've made...aren't organic. And you MAY have had a hand in creating them.
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[WP] Most people's cats hack up hairballs. To this day, you have no idea how this happened, but somehow, your cat hacks up fireballs.
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[WP] "Hey, can you give me a hand?" "Sure!" She detaches her hand and gives it to you. "And an arm, and a leg," she says, detaching the respective appendages as she does so. "I can even help you get aHEAD!" "What the FUCK?!" "Oh. Whoops. Did I scare you?" "YES!"
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[WP] A new guy starts coming to your school. They seem kind of shy (for one, they're mainly seen huddling away from everyone) so you decide to try to help them out and make them some friends. However, your best friend is ALSO in on your plan, and he seems set on LITERALLY making them some friends...
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[WP] "What do you mean, you made me a new friend?" you inquire. "You know that no human other than you would actually share any of my interests, man." "You'll see," he replies, with a knowing grin on his face.
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[WP] Finally, you got a new phone! Unfortunately, your voice assistant doesn't seem too keen on helping you...or staying in the phone, for that matter.
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[WP] "GAH! Can you stop pranking me for five minutes?!" "I can't, man! This is who I am!" "No, you just like seeing me suffer." "Well, maybe THIS will be enough proof!" She unfurls her nine fox tails. "...What." "Oh. Well, you're taking this far better than the last five people, I'll give you that."
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