/u/mydadsnameisharold's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

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Only show posts with narrations

A bunch of stupid fuckin’ kids keep sneakin onto my property and getting up to no good in my duck pond.

212 upvotes

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Click below to reveal your special message!

208 upvotes

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They needed a break from the chaos, so they rented a mountain cabin and soaked up the beauty of nature.

204 upvotes

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I snuck her in last week and so far, nobody at the museum has realized she's not a wax sculpture.

200 upvotes

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It all started with some light gore, they’d pay me to sneak a camera into the operating room.

195 upvotes

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"Sorry John, we didn't want to arrest you but you know the public eye is on us we don't really have a choice."

195 upvotes

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Most of the corpses that come through my mortuary are old, fat, and ugly.

190 upvotes

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They said I could go into a coma if the tumor grew any larger, but then it started to shrink and the cancer went into remission; I even got the promotion and paid off my loans with the sign on bonus, so life has been going great!

188 upvotes

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My girlfriend always complains about how her kids are such a handful- they really wear her down.

185 upvotes

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I thought the crunch would be the most satisfying part.

181 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
A bunch of stupid fuckin’ kids keep sneakin onto my property and getting up to no good in my duck pond.	212
Click below to reveal your special message!	208
They needed a break from the chaos, so they rented a mountain cabin and soaked up the beauty of nature.	204
I snuck her in last week and so far, nobody at the museum has realized she's not a wax sculpture.	200
It all started with some light gore, they’d pay me to sneak a camera into the operating room.	195
"Sorry John, we didn't want to arrest you but you know the public eye is on us we don't really have a choice."	195
Most of the corpses that come through my mortuary are old, fat, and ugly.	190
They said I could go into a coma if the tumor grew any larger, but then it started to shrink and the cancer went into remission; I even got the promotion and paid off my loans with the sign on bonus, so life has been going great!	188
My girlfriend always complains about how her kids are such a handful- they really wear her down.	185
I thought the crunch would be the most satisfying part.	181