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/u/mydadsnameisharold's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

I don’t just love her, I want to be her.

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Ever seen a house centipede in your home?

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They put her likeness all over the news and social media.

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Am I dreaming or is this gonna be the BEST FUCKING night of my life!?

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“Ewww, are you trying to come onto me?”

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Life hack: if you’ve done everything but your baby just won’t stop crying, lay some pillows over her. The cushion will gently muffle her cries, and calm her to sleep.

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We’re going to explore a new planet today!

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I cannot stand to stay here any longer!

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“The majority of the Galactic Council has voted to collect more information before intervention.”

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He begged but I gently shushed him with a quote: "blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven!"

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