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/u/mydadsnameisharold's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

Hot oil definitely makes ‘em twitch.

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An anomaly called a “time slip” opened up in my neighborhood.

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Relax, I’m not going to hurt you.

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“I just need some peace and quiet and a minute to think!”

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Just letting you all know I’m sure as fuck NOT going to be giving anybody mouth to mouth during this outbreak.

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Even as she read the cute little notes going up the stairs, she couldn’t stop thanking God for replacing her abusive ex with a hopeless and gentle romantic like Harry.

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I feel like such a goddamn idiot!

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“What a good doggo- just the sweetest pupper, isn’t he!”

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I know others who hated everything about it and wish they’d never enlisted, but I just miss the thrill of shooting at the enemy and the satisfaction of seeing my shots connect.

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It’s actually a victimless crime if you use a large enough dose.

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