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/u/mydadsnameisharold's posts

Mom told me it wasn’t my fault.

410 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceSadness
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We waited 9 whole months for this meal!

405 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror
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I crawled into bed and felt crumbs between the sheets.

394 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror
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I hope my master will forgive me.

374 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror
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For her final wish, she asked me to make her the hottest girl in her school.

355 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror
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My precious baby girl always used to cry- she was too scared to be alone.

325 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceSadness
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They always laughed and said I was the type of person who’d die alone.

325 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror
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“Fuck this,” he said, turning away from the playground in disgust, “I’m not a killer.”

324 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror
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“❤️😊 Omg honey I’ve got amazing news, I’ll tell you once I get there, omw!”

323 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceSadness
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“Siri, call 911!”

312 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceComedy
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