/u/off-and-on's posts
[WP] You are Satan. Today is December 24th, the one day you leave hell, in order to deliver gifts to all the little boys and girls who misspelled the recipient on their letters to Santa.
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[WP] The year is 3021, and man has long since taken to the stars. The problem of FTL travel is long since solved, but FTL communication remains tricky. That's where you come in. You are an interstellar mailman, and your trusty ship is loaded with exabytes of data to be delivered across human space.
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[WP] You are an astronaut, heading home from the ISS. The descent goes well, but instead of landing in the ocean like you were supposed to the pod lands with a hefty thud. You open the hatch to the outside, where all you find is a grassy field. Furthermore, no sign of civilization can be seen.
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[WP] You are the greatest warrior in the land, as you are rendered completely invulnerable by donning the legendary Plot Armor. But one day you meet your match, an evil knight wielding the legendary weapon Deus Ex Machina.
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[WP] You committed a heinous crime, and was sentenced to death. However, the judge let you choose your death. "Old age," you said. Now the government is trying to keep you from dying until you get old.
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[WP] Ravens are the eyes of Odin, and every day they report back to him. But they mostly just bring back shiny junk.
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[WP] It's late at night. You're in your bathroom, getting ready for bed. Suddenly, you spot something on the mirror. A bloody line, dragging itself across the surface of the mirror. The line turns into a letter, which turns into words. "YOU'RE REALLY PRETTY," it spells out.
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