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/u/oldhandnewmind's posts

For goodness sake nurse,

171 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceComedy
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Poor bastard, too busy waving his gun at me and the kids that he didn't even notice my wife come up behind him and....

164 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror
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She said if I turned the light off I could stick it up her butt. NSFW

160 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceComedy
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He had survived the war and what was left had returned home to us.

157 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror
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If madness is doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result then my dad must be crazy.

151 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror
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I could look into her eyes for eternity.

148 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror
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I never feared death,

147 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror
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He told me that if looked into his eyes I would see true evil. NSFW

130 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror
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All that was left for the children was to open the chest to get the treasure.

129 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror
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Every scar can tell a story.

126 upvotes • r/TwoSentenceHorror
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