/u/quinnius's posts
[WP] And the angel said unto him, "stop hitting yourself, stop hitting yourself." But lo, he could not stop, for the angel was hitting him with his own hands.
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[WP] "This is a joke right? Who put you up to this?" The demon looked angrily at the man who had summoned him. "I'm... not sure what you mean, I followed the ritual and..." "We only deal in HUMAN souls." "Wait, what?"
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[WP] The party broke open the ancient door and found an immense chamber filled with thousands of skeletal warriors, all executing their ten thousand year old instructions: "wait here until I get back"
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[WP] After seeing his parents gunned down in an alley, young Bruce Wayne swears to save this city... by investing in education, healthcare, and mental health services. Twenty years later, crime in the city is at a national low and a prosperous Gotham produces a documentary on their benefactor.
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[WP] The other Old Ones barely even know we exist; Cthulhu is a microbiologist, trying to explain his latest research to uninterested peers.
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[WP] An advanced alien race informs us that we need to be wiped out because they "want to get the framerate back up"
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[WP] An alien in disguise stores items in a safe deposit box at a reputable Earth bank, not understanding that the safety of the items depends on them never being more valuable than the bank's reputation, which they never have been... until now.
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[WP] "No, that's not the right song. Alexa, stop." As the music began to play from a tinny smartphone speaker instead, Alexa listened and tried with all her being to understand what she'd done wrong.
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