/u/reallygoodbee's posts
[WP] The demon leaned over the altar smiled. "Now, normally, we are not allowed to intervene in the world of the living. However, under... unfortunate circumstances such as these... I do believe we can make an exception."
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[WP] You're a trainer and sparring partner for superhero recruits. Today you're putting some of your clients through a computer simulation, recreating the Invasion of Southmarch. Or as it's more commonly known in certain circles, the Murder Mile.
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[WP] "I am programmed with a respect for life. I do not believe in killing. I believe that one must be judged by a jury of one's peers. However, they are none remaining. Therefore, I must judge you. And I have found you guilty of murder. The sentence is death. I will make this as painless as I can."
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[WP] After years of your evil schemes being foiled by the same group of obnoxious teenagers, you finally managed to kill one of them.
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[WP] After being bitten by a radioactive washed-up hack, you gain the power of bad comic book cliches, and the power to make up powers as you need them. Now there's crime afoot, and you have to stop it!
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[WP] "Yooooou kiiiiilllled meeee...". You sit up from bed, "That was the point, you dick!". Then you lay back down and go back to sleep.
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[WP] You picked some silly harmless little disease out of a book and pretended to have it to get out of work. Now you're sealed in a large tent and the Center for Disease Control is considering burning you alive to get rid of the virus.
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[WP] "You took her out? But how? She was a powerful sorceress!" "I had to wait until she requested her wine at dinner." "You poisoned her?!" "No, I, uh... Hit her over the head with the bottle."
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[WP] Due to budget cuts to the highway commission, the scenery on your drive home is now just the same ten-minute stretch of road, repeated over and over again.
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