/u/sergalahadabeer's posts
[WP] "But... why?" You pleaded. "Mixed Fabrics." Said God, shrugging. And lo, he banished you to a special hell proportionate to your Sin.
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[WP] You've been cursed. Everything you try to eat comes to life, innocent and adorable life. Ice cream licks back. Apples with kawaii smiles. Burgers with a contagious laugh. And you're getting very, very hungry.
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[WP] Every time. Someone sends you on a mundane errand, it gets complicated, eventually someone with a staff joins the party, goddamn it, you're on a quest again.
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[WP] A lone, terrified cop walking the beat on the Tokyo docks fires a single shaky bullet into Godzilla, killing it instantly and sinking him back into the sea.
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[WP] "I would just like to apologize for my very recent omnipotence. I regret making your nightmares real all those times. And erasing you from history, let's be honest, was a dick move."
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[WP] You walk in to find your poor, half-blind grandmother has accidentally been cooking from a book written in blood, bound in flesh. And the oven timer just dinged.
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[WP] With a satisfying 'tink!' the geode finally split open. And there it was, a sleeping baby, perfectly encapsulated within the crystals. An amethyst womb pulled from bedrock only that morning.
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[WP] At their crappy dayjob, they are bitter rival coworkers. At night, in their alter egos as the respective superhero and supervillain of the city, they're inseparable best friends.
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[WP] Little Wendy, age 6, slid another cookie across the table to Mr. Poofsy and Ms. Carrots. But it wasn't the same. This whole business of being called a 'malfunctioning war cyborg' was spoiling her tea.
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