/u/shakeythirsty's posts
On June 25th a government report came out saying UAPs were almost certainly NOT of extraterrestrial origin.
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[WP] You filled a whole page counting your blessings, but every time you look at the list, there's one fewer than before. Even as your life is falling apart, you can't stop looking.
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[WP] The new Meedom search engine delivers only the results that fit a person's exact world view. No contrary opinions allowed. After 2 weeks, the U.S. is totally at peace. Nah, just kidding. It's complete anarchy.
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I’d heard about hazing before, so I wasn’t scared when the upper classmen laid me back and taped over my ears and eyes.
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[WP] On May 3rd, caffeine suddenly stops working across the globe. After a week of mayhem, a voice comes from a craft in the sky: "Now that you've had a few years to sample our product, it's time to find out what it's worth to you."
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[WP] Your psychiatrist refuses to treat you, because you are hopelessly repressed. You should stay this way as long as possible, because beneath the surface you are an untreatable monster.
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[WP] All anybody cares about you is that you can shoot lightning from your fingers. Nobody cares about the real you. Screw that. You're putting on gloves and taking up weight lifting.
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[WP] Your humanitarian group goes back to 2010 to wean people from their cellphones. You must hide the fact that you have become addicted.
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