/u/smilelikeachow's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

Year:

Only show posts with narrations

"Don't worry," laughed the director, waving the gun around haphazardly with his finger on the trigger before tossing it to the actress, "it's not gonna go off — it's just a prop!"

44 upvotes

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"If humans were meant to fly, we would have been born with wings!!!"

42 upvotes

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water.

39 upvotes

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ELI5 why is it that a kid can fall down a flight of stairs then get up and walk away just fine, but if I sleep wrong or stand up too fast I'm SOL for the whole day?

39 upvotes

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Ghosts don't haunt where they were laid to rest, they haunt the place where they died.

39 upvotes

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We've rescued hundreds of birds and turtles caught in the massive oil spill off the coast, but all of them just keep crawling back into it.

38 upvotes

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I asked the genie to show what I look like a year from now.

37 upvotes

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"Ha ha you idiot," the children teased Matilda, "you can't read minds with telekinesis!"

36 upvotes

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"Where's my free wish," asked the man after he had freed the Jinn from its prison.

34 upvotes

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Against all odds, the four survivors managed to escape the building, killing four hundred and forty zombies standing in their way.

34 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
"Don't worry," laughed the director, waving the gun around haphazardly with his finger on the trigger before tossing it to the actress, "it's not gonna go off — it's just a prop!"	44
"If humans were meant to fly, we would have been born with wings!!!"	42
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water.	39
ELI5 why is it that a kid can fall down a flight of stairs then get up and walk away just fine, but if I sleep wrong or stand up too fast I'm SOL for the whole day?	39
Ghosts don't haunt where they were laid to rest, they haunt the place where they died.	39
We've rescued hundreds of birds and turtles caught in the massive oil spill off the coast, but all of them just keep crawling back into it.	38
I asked the genie to show what I look like a year from now.	37
"Ha ha you idiot," the children teased Matilda, "you can't read minds with telekinesis!"	36
"Where's my free wish," asked the man after he had freed the Jinn from its prison.	34
Against all odds, the four survivors managed to escape the building, killing four hundred and forty zombies standing in their way.	34