/u/sugar-soad's posts in /r/TwoSentenceComedy

Year:

I could see the look of horror pass over my boyfriend's face as I slid the knife in

678 upvotes

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I had no idea why my boss and co workers kept trying not to laugh during our zoom meeting

645 upvotes

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I told my boyfriend that he had the biggest that I had ever seen, but had to explain to him that bigger isn't always better NSFW

610 upvotes

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My parents bought my twin sister a first class ticket for her dream holiday, but they told me if I wanted to go then I would have to pay for myself

577 upvotes

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After I was kidnapped, higher and higher ransoms were offered

574 upvotes

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I am considering divorcing my husband after I came home early and caught him in a compromising position NSFW

565 upvotes

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My wife was furious when she walked in on me beating our daughter

505 upvotes

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I am sick and tired of this stupid stereotype that us Irish people are all raging alcoholics

486 upvotes

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The dead began to rise from their graves, hungry for the taste of brains

455 upvotes

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There is nothing nicer than hearing childrens screams coming from your basement

448 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
I could see the look of horror pass over my boyfriend's face as I slid the knife in	678
I had no idea why my boss and co workers kept trying not to laugh during our zoom meeting	645
I told my boyfriend that he had the biggest that I had ever seen, but had to explain to him that bigger isn't always better NSFW	610
My parents bought my twin sister a first class ticket for her dream holiday, but they told me if I wanted to go then I would have to pay for myself	577
After I was kidnapped, higher and higher ransoms were offered	574
I am considering divorcing my husband after I came home early and caught him in a compromising position NSFW	565
My wife was furious when she walked in on me beating our daughter	505
I am sick and tired of this stupid stereotype that us Irish people are all raging alcoholics	486
The dead began to rise from their graves, hungry for the taste of brains	455
There is nothing nicer than hearing childrens screams coming from your basement	448