| becoming crippling attached to someone whose existence was unknown to you less than two weeks ago | 1422 | | | | |
| a man who is sexually untroubled by upholstery | 1346 | | | | |
| sweet relief | 1077 | | | | |
| huge scoop just in from Minnesota | 707 | | | | |
| the lawn ranger | 699 | | | | |
| "The bell doesn't dismiss you, Mr. Vance, I dismiss you." | 631 | | | | |
| 5 Minutes and 26 Seconds of Tim Walz | 366 | | | | |
| weirdos thinking they're going undetected | 334 | | | | |
| America = Tim's dog that locked itself in a bedroom | 325 | | | | |
| fake but accurate | 289 | | | | |
StoryNote