/u/thetimetel's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

Year:

Only show posts with narrations

The day after I got custody of my children from my abusive ex-wife, they told me that she was the better cook.

5350 upvotes

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When my father got home late with blood on the front of his car, I immediately asked what happened.

3204 upvotes

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I gave a startled yelp when a monster dragged me under my bed.

950 upvotes

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My brother has recently been hard at work attempting to lose weight, so when I saw a shooting star I wished my brother would lose ten pounds.

496 upvotes

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With all the strength I could muster, I drove the wooden stake into the beast’s heart.

391 upvotes

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My heart stopped when I heard a loud scream come from my toddler’s room.

271 upvotes

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My friends and family are dying to know my trick after I lost 100 pounds in a single month.

197 upvotes

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After looking at the evidence, I guess I have to agree that the earth is flat.

100 upvotes

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While going through the attic I found my old bath toy, a rubber duck my parents had bought at a garage sale.

87 upvotes

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“Are you familiar with the phrase ‘the eyes are the window to the soul?’”

75 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
The day after I got custody of my children from my abusive ex-wife, they told me that she was the better cook.	5350
When my father got home late with blood on the front of his car, I immediately asked what happened.	3204
I gave a startled yelp when a monster dragged me under my bed.	950
My brother has recently been hard at work attempting to lose weight, so when I saw a shooting star I wished my brother would lose ten pounds.	496
With all the strength I could muster, I drove the wooden stake into the beast’s heart.	391
My heart stopped when I heard a loud scream come from my toddler’s room.	271
My friends and family are dying to know my trick after I lost 100 pounds in a single month.	197
After looking at the evidence, I guess I have to agree that the earth is flat.	100
While going through the attic I found my old bath toy, a rubber duck my parents had bought at a garage sale.	87
“Are you familiar with the phrase ‘the eyes are the window to the soul?’”	75