/u/they-shot-the-deputy's posts
[WP] A vampire tries their best to explain to a lovestruck teenager that they, the vampire, is actually their great-great grandparent and their behavior to them is creepy.
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[WP] One night you find a black cat outside your apartment building. Before you reach out and pet it—the cat looks up at you with its eyes glowing red. It speaks in a very deep voice, asking, "Do you know if Carl still lives here?"
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[WP] You're a guardian angel. It seems your superiors hate your guts because you are only assigned special cases AKA you have observe and protect people who are really, really stupid and seem to have no value for their own safety.
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[WP] You're the chosen one, they said. You're special, they said. Turns out they just wanted someone to do their work for free.
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[WP] You hold your hands up as a team of police officers have their weapons trained on you. "I know it looks bad but listen," You plead as the body on the ground starts to twitch.
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[WP] Your crazy ex-girlfriend is trying to win you back but she doesn't realize the lengths you will go to avoid her.
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