/u/timeshaper's posts
[WP] You are the best actor ever. You make the deal of a lifetime. $500 million per year to act solely for Warner Brothers until you die. It's unclear who the joke is on, however. You for being stuck with WB forever, or WB for offering a lifetime contract to a secret immortal.
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[WP] You discover one of your students has the power to ace any test no matter the question. You decide to give him many of the unanswerable questions. Now, upon reading you can't stop crying.
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I watched while the entire street full of thousands of people broke out into patriotic cheers as the projection of our Great Leader upon the building announced the full declaration of war.
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[WP] The armies of Hell stood and hovered at the ready. Today would be the day of reckoning. Earth and all its souls would be theirs. But when they burst through the ground to launch their surprise attack they found the humans already at war... With aliens. Time to pick a side or fight both.
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[WP] As a superhero with a day job you've had to come up with a lot of quick excuses to disappear from the office. They figured it out awhile ago and let it keep happening for the good of the world. Everyone can tell you're running out of ideas for excuses and they think it's hilarious.
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[WP] As a bartender you tend to learn a lot about your regular clientele. After listening in on conversation after conversation you calmly realize that every single one of your patrons is a time traveller and this is their favorite hangout in all of history.
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[WP] Upon opening the letter you expected the results of your genetic heritage test. Instead of a history of your family's origins you get a slip with a phone number. Upon calling, a man whispers quickly explaining that they cannot find any evidence of human ancestry. They are coming. Run.
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[WP] You secretly have the power to teleport anywhere so long as it is midnight in that location. For the past 6 hours you have been unable to teleport for the first time ever.
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