/u/two_sentence_critic's posts in /r/TwoSentenceComedy

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Only show posts with narrations

My girlfriend just said, "If you don't get off Reddit and spend some time with me I'll drag your face across the damn keyboard."

400 upvotes

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As we searched the wreckage for survivors we heard a ghostly tapping...

244 upvotes

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Wanna know how to keep an idiot busy?

36 upvotes

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What did the horny old toad say to the lady frog?

29 upvotes

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Father's Day always hits my family pretty hard.

23 upvotes

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I recently visited an area and stumbled upon a tribe of cannibals.

20 upvotes

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Why couldn't the bicycle stand on its own?

20 upvotes

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Social distancing lesson one.

11 upvotes

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A female coworker said she's going to miss the sexual innuendo training.

7 upvotes

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What do you tell someone with two black eyes?

4 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
My girlfriend just said, "If you don't get off Reddit and spend some time with me I'll drag your face across the damn keyboard."	400
As we searched the wreckage for survivors we heard a ghostly tapping...	244
Wanna know how to keep an idiot busy?	36
What did the horny old toad say to the lady frog?	29
Father's Day always hits my family pretty hard.	23
I recently visited an area and stumbled upon a tribe of cannibals.	20
Why couldn't the bicycle stand on its own?	20
Social distancing lesson one.	11
A female coworker said she's going to miss the sexual innuendo training.	7
What do you tell someone with two black eyes?	4