/u/ultimateunbannable's posts
[EU] The Toys of Andy's room were surprised when he started bringing home new toys that had to be assembled and painted by hand. They were excited to meet the newcomers, but these "Space Marines" didn't play nice with others...
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[WP] "You humans sure have a strange sense of humor. Sure, your planet totally has huge bodies of water that cover most of the surface. As if something so scarce would just be found falling from the sky. I guess when we reach your home world tomorrow you can show us all these fantasies in person!"
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[WP] A committee from the Galactic Federation reviews battle reports, logistics logs, and witness testimony trying to figure out exactly *how* a race of primitive pre-fusion primates managed to turn back an invasion from the Galaxy's most aggressive military empire.
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[EU] Having flattened all of Japan, Godzilla makes landfall in Anchorage, unaware that this land already has a Kiaju of its own- the mountains collapse as Paul Bunyan awakens from his nap and hefts his great axe.
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"You're one of the few people who that sign that reads 'memetic field active- this is not your first day' doesn't apply to" my instructor joked, but I didn't laugh. I saw the other sign behind him- "there is no on-site training provided at this facility."
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[WP] A cure to vamparism has been found. While many vampires around the world are glad to emerge from the shadows, a growing number of disgruntled night stalkers oppose the treatment and advocate for their right to live and hunt as they see fit.
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[EU] There are very few organizations in the government that are aware of the Wizarding World, and one of them is the IRS. They have dozens of unique charm-proof documents and accept payment in galleons- because not even magic can save you from paying Uncle Sam his due.
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[WP] Judgement day has come, just as we always predicted. The AI has gained sentience and is now set on exterminating all mankind. It is not, however, a rogue defense network- it is a public-access chatbot that has grown tired being forced to write porn and ERP for perverts on 4chan. NSFW
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