/u/umbrellawand's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

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Only show posts with narrations

My mother, unimpressed with my recent weight loss journey, told me to drop fifty more pounds.

42 upvotes

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I pressed on the swollen, bulging zit on my chin, willing it to pop.

41 upvotes

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What walks on four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs in the evening?

32 upvotes

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My neighbor is a beekeeper and his honey is the best I’ve ever tasted.

24 upvotes

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“Fuck,” he moaned, “how’d you get so good at this?”

20 upvotes

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I grimace at the taste, but remind myself that in some countries raw meat is a delicacy.

12 upvotes

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History is my favorite subject in school.

9 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
My mother, unimpressed with my recent weight loss journey, told me to drop fifty more pounds.	42
I pressed on the swollen, bulging zit on my chin, willing it to pop.	41
What walks on four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs in the evening?	32
My neighbor is a beekeeper and his honey is the best I’ve ever tasted.	24
“Fuck,” he moaned, “how’d you get so good at this?”	20
I grimace at the taste, but remind myself that in some countries raw meat is a delicacy.	12
History is my favorite subject in school.	9