/u/whatWouldYoMamaDo's posts
[WP] The young bacterium returned to The Stomach Lining to find the entire colony slaughtered. It vowed to find whoever murdered its family, and avenge their deaths.
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[WP] When humans are invited to the Milky Way Olympics, our leaders get carried away boasting about Earth’s athletes. It’s your job to ensure we live up to those expectations. That won’t be easy, since humans can’t slither, ooze, or molt.
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[EU] We are deeply sorry about the late arrival of your Hogwarts letter. While you may be a few decades older than the other first years, we sincerely believe you will excel here.
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[RF] When your children were younger, they constantly competed to be the 'favorite', and nothing could convince them you loved them all equally. Now that they have children of their own, they each look for evidence that you're favoring their siblings' kids. You and your grandkids are fed up.
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[RF] You never pictured yourself becoming homeless, but here you are. It’s your first day on the streets, and you’ve got to figure out how to get by. It doesn’t help that you have severe social anxiety.
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[WP] "Remember that theory about time being layered, and how it could all collapse if we messed with it?" He pointed a shaky finger out to the sea, where a Viking longship was rising from the waves. A dinosaur roared in the distance. "I....I think we did that."
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[WP] You’re a Professional Scapegoat, regularly hired by politicians and CEOs to take the blame for their mistakes and misdeeds. This new client is…unexpected.
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[WP] "It's a bit like the Emmys or the Tonys, but for performances in everyday life. There's a 'Best Tearful Goodbye', 'Best New Family Feud', 'Best Insulting Compliment'... Oh, I wish they'd tell me what I was nominated for!"
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