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/r/TwoSentenceComedy

"My goodness, the candle went out!" exclaimed my wife.

91 upvotes • [deleted]
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I've been in this subreddit for about a month know and I've really enjoyed it.

90 upvotes • EthanMerrison
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just got laid

90 upvotes • pyramidCow200k
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I got the runs.

90 upvotes • venetian_lemon
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So I accidentally boxed myself into a corner.

90 upvotes • SprawlingKeystrokes
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As the explosion ripped through the air, I saw my gunmates fall.

90 upvotes • burritoscope
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I love not being bullied at school.

90 upvotes • PooAssObama
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I got a jail time for hate crimes for saying something as simple as "I hate Jews"

90 upvotes • RaisetheRedbanner
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Instead of wasting money on peasants by building an expensive guillotine, the alternative was hanging by piano wire with weights attached to their feet.

90 upvotes • Outside_Normal
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When the seer told me that I'll die by the hand of a lovecraftian horror, I scoffed it of as they aren't real.

90 upvotes • Vacuousbard
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