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/r/TwoSentenceComedy

i used to get hit on a lot

79 upvotes • wondererSkull
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"Congratulations, it's a boy," the nurse manning the ultrasound machine told us.

79 upvotes • vomhead
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"the fire is hot but i am hotter!" said the sun

79 upvotes • Narrow_Trainer_687
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I felt someone slap my ass..

79 upvotes • DanggereNudelYandere
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You know who really gets me?

79 upvotes • VibrantRD
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I used to be fat when I was a child.

79 upvotes • Jussi_Wade_1755
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Whenever I look in the mirror, I see my neighbour

79 upvotes • Stunning-Hospital514
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The worst part of this terrible day wasn't having a minor meltdown after locking my keys in the car.

79 upvotes • Outside_Normal
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I used to wonder why “shitting the bed” was considered the ultimate failure.

79 upvotes • jpwoodvale
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Really enjoying my new life aboard the giant space station designed to “solve Earth’s overpopulation problem”.

79 upvotes • mediamusing
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