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/r/TwoSentenceComedy

My dad always used to beat us...

36 upvotes • Creed_is_the_best
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You know you're getting old when your father starts using emojis more than you do.

36 upvotes • deletedbyredditadmin
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Conan ran me through in the first 10 seconds of our duel.

35 upvotes • TrulyAscendant1969
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When I was standing at the doorway, I noticed a skeleton quietly crawling on the floor and pushing me through.

35 upvotes • WoodenPiano
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I finally got my cock sucked!!

35 upvotes • RiskierSubsetR
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I, for one, shall never bow down before any sort of overlord.

35 upvotes • Outside_Normal
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I like scissors

35 upvotes • OreMysticCoolcumber
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I looked down to see the mountains had completely disappeared.

35 upvotes • curvycrocs
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i am in a war and i Threw a Sticky Grenade

35 upvotes • FUSEDCHAINLOL
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I woke up to a deep and loud roar in the middle of the night...

35 upvotes • dumbo_octopus1995
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