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/r/TwoSentenceComedy

[DEC2020] Sitting on Santa's lap is fun because my douchebag ex-boyfriend is Santa this year!

10 upvotes • cindybubbles
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Sherlock: Watson, I know you hate superhero films, but would you like to go with me to see the new Spiderman movie?

9 upvotes • That_Charming_Otter
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My therapist told me to write letters to the people I hated and to burn them, so I did.

9 upvotes • [deleted]
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It is with us now...

9 upvotes • XenogenderGemini
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I said the B-Word towards my mom today.

9 upvotes • Cyborginox
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I slipped the drugs in her food when I thought she wouldn't notice.

9 upvotes • Dragonsrule18
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Come on, just let me have another drink!

9 upvotes • saketho
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The children were happily playing and skipping around in the warm summer sun.

9 upvotes • [deleted]
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"So, how did you die?"

9 upvotes • oskhen85
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I decided to experiment with anal

9 upvotes • [deleted]
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