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/r/TwoSentenceComedy

After years of searching for vampires, I finally had my chance to get physical evidence of their existence.

267 upvotes • Idiotum_Sandwichum
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“What the hell man, I was about to get laid!” My friend shouted as I pulled him back.

266 upvotes • KailTheDryad
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A cup of tea makes everything better.

266 upvotes • [deleted]
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I thought I was looking at the new cannibal corpse album cover that was supposed to come in the mail today.

265 upvotes • [deleted]
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I opened the pantry in search of a snack to quench my hunger, and gasped at what I saw.

265 upvotes • itsngakotime
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My father once said to never trust a fart

265 upvotes • Lunar2325
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Jokes on the internet are so easy to understand.

264 upvotes • KOBRA_6916
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Don't be racist

264 upvotes • QueenElsaArrendelle
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Some clown in a big SUV almost ran me off the road when I was rushing to get home after work.

264 upvotes • Remergent4Now
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Since my crush memorized the table of Elements, I told her " I love gold but A is silent"

264 upvotes • jeckrivera24
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