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/r/TwoSentenceComedy

I always eat

1 upvotes • Far-Sandwich9305
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I like this feature of my new smart watch that displays my status as "OK".

1 upvotes • Outside_Normal
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Why is your exclamation point so hard to press?

1 upvotes • skealth
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I'm not as dumb as people think, because I finally figured out why they tell actors to "Break a leg!"

1 upvotes • TheSecretFace
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After work went to get drinks with some friends.

1 upvotes • outside_this_world
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I thought I farted

1 upvotes • massivelehegend
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There goes my idiot neighbor waddling down the street straddle-legged again.

1 upvotes • TheSecretFace
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I've was just watching a movie about an antelope who is a vampire.

1 upvotes • TheSecretFace
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I just saw a duck running around like it was crazy!

1 upvotes • TheSecretFace
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So today is National dog day and natinal topless day.

1 upvotes • abitosmitty
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