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/r/TwoSentenceComedy

I recently found some bondage porn under my son's bed, so I asked my husband what I should do about it. NSFW

422 upvotes • [deleted]
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Nearly 1000 years had passed since the people of Earth had sent that first message to an extraterrestrial civilisation detected in a distant arm of the galaxy — “Greetings, we offer friendship.”

418 upvotes • [deleted]
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I thought taking the shell off of my racing snail would make it faster.

417 upvotes • HybridPumpkin
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Every morning I fill the coffee pot up for MAX.

416 upvotes • [deleted]
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"You'll be rewarded with the highest honours anyone can receive!"

416 upvotes • thealiagator111
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I don't know what you expect from this sub

415 upvotes • diamondsnowflakey
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I’ll never forget the last words that my grandpa said to me.

411 upvotes • One4All12
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I met a bitter Christian man who kept quoting Bible verses to everyone he disliked.

411 upvotes • [deleted]
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I have finally given up my video game , alcohol and drug addictions

409 upvotes • [deleted]
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I finally got such a amazing and great idea for a post!

408 upvotes • Cyborginox
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