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/r/TwoSentenceHorror

I turn off incognito mode, wipe off my hands, and put my pants back on.

596 upvotes • twilightw0rld
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I hate delivering food.

596 upvotes • Jakeh7494
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hours from now the 8 billionth person will be born.

596 upvotes • DrySafe8876
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[NOV22] The rescuers found the survivors huddled around a half eaten corpse.

596 upvotes • tasteofhemlock
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My new roommates constantly pretend I don't exist

596 upvotes • Freedomisminewoot
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Being the first man on the moon, i proudly stuck the American flag into the sand.

596 upvotes • Wonderful_Audience60
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No one ever tells you that the hardest part of parenting is how long it takes for kids to accept you as their parent.

596 upvotes • jessluce
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Finally, after days of being held captive by my wife, I was able to call 911.

595 upvotes • Anthonybrose
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I was excited to watch my son’s leading role in his first indie horror film as the victim of a sadistic killer.

595 upvotes • biggestboyontheblock
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I get something from my son in the mail every year on my birthday.

595 upvotes • Theranus
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