/r/oneliners

Year:

Only show posts with narrations

Americans won zero medals in shooting at the Olympics, I think it’s cause all the homegrown talent peaks in high school NSFW

84 upvotes • Superb-Control5184

Mark as read: Add to a list

Adam and Eve were the first ones to ignore the Apple terms and conditions.

78 upvotes • LockedbyDax

Mark as read: Add to a list

I looked up "opaque" in the dictionary, but the definition was not clear.

72 upvotes • EndersGame_Reviewer

Mark as read: Add to a list

My ex-wife still misses me, but her aim is starting to improve!

48 upvotes • NotWhoIonceWass

Mark as read: Add to a list

For the record, I should buy a turntable.

45 upvotes • jvlpdillon

Mark as read: Add to a list

I'm so lactose intolerant that I need a pill to pose for a photograph.

43 upvotes • tito-boy

Mark as read: Add to a list

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

39 upvotes • ColoradoGhostGirl

Mark as read: Add to a list

Refusing to go to the gym is a form of resistance training.

37 upvotes • Silver-Aki

Mark as read: Add to a list

I hate when I see an old person, & then realize we went to high school together.

36 upvotes • daaave33

Mark as read: Add to a list

I tried going to one of those trampoline places but couldn’t get past the bouncers.

35 upvotes • MAKLNE

Mark as read: Add to a list

Title	Upvotes	Author	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
Americans won zero medals in shooting at the Olympics, I think it’s cause all the homegrown talent peaks in high school NSFW	84	Superb-Control5184
Adam and Eve were the first ones to ignore the Apple terms and conditions.	78	LockedbyDax
I looked up "opaque" in the dictionary, but the definition was not clear.	72	EndersGame_Reviewer
My ex-wife still misses me, but her aim is starting to improve!	48	NotWhoIonceWass
For the record, I should buy a turntable.	45	jvlpdillon
I'm so lactose intolerant that I need a pill to pose for a photograph.	43	tito-boy
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.	39	ColoradoGhostGirl
Refusing to go to the gym is a form of resistance training.	37	Silver-Aki
I hate when I see an old person, & then realize we went to high school together.	36	daaave33
I tried going to one of those trampoline places but couldn’t get past the bouncers.	35	MAKLNE