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/r/shittysuperpowers

You can cum spiders.

36 upvotes • MealSharp3406
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You can summon a spider.

36 upvotes • SuperJasonSuper
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You can teleport every hair you shed instantly into your ex's mouth.

35 upvotes • KrakenClubOfficial
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You can immediately identify who pissed on the toilet seat and shame them publicly for it.

35 upvotes • heathentopknot
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Your skin can turn invisible

33 upvotes • Donstar_Playz-yt
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You can summon Cigarettes.

33 upvotes • Might_try_anal
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You can teleport yourself anywhere you want as long as the location you teleport to is at least 500km from any living human

33 upvotes • Any-Doubt-6356
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You can increase your body temperature by 1°C

31 upvotes • Serious-Balance-2656
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You can summon a highly radioactive moose capable of doing high level calculus.

30 upvotes • puddledlazer
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You can tell when something bad will happen as soon as it’s too late to stop it

30 upvotes • Adventurous-Lunch394
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