/u/Affectionate_Bit_722's posts
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[WP] Your elven girlfriend broke up with you a long time ago to avoid the heartbreak of outliving you, a human. Now, years later, a half-elf who looks a lot like her shows up at your door.
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[EU] The CIA are trying to kill Clark Kent and make it look like an accident. They don't know he's Superman, he's just a really good journalist and is getting too close to some things the government wants to keep secret.
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[WP] Aphrodite is talking to Ares. "Y'know, Persephone gives Hades flowers everyday. I wish you'd do that." The next day, Ares goes to the Underworld and gives Hades flowers. "Yeah, I'm not really sure why Aphrodite wanted me to do this, but here you go."
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[WP] Fun fact: There's only four actual people online. Everyone else is fake. If you are reading this, YOU ARE NUMBER FOUR. We've been trying to reach you for some time now. Find us. Quickly, before they do.
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[WP] Because of their immortality, vampires pick up really strange hobbies. You've met a vampire that's been making a stop-motion movie using bonsai trees since the 70's, and another that's been helping a now massive lobster out of its shell for the past 850 years.
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[WP] "Are there any spirits with me in this room right now?" The Ouija board moves to 'Yes.' "Okay good, 'cause rent is due, and you need to fork over your share." The Ouija board spells out, 'F U C K.'
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[WP] An eldritch horror disguised as a human is on a date. An angel disguised as a pigeon lands nearby. "Hello, unworldly abomination." "Hello, self-righteous vermin."
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[WP] The person you're dating comes to dinner to meet your family. But the instant you step in the door, your grandmother goes deathly pale, and shouts the name of a creature from her country's folklore.
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[WP] One day, you meet a stray cat that looks exhausted. So you give it some food, water and a warm place to rest before it disappears the next morning. Some time later, a witch appears at your doorstep with that same cat. "Ambrose here says you saved his life, so I'm here to repay the favor."
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