/u/Affectionate_Bit_722's posts
[WP] "I beg to differ, your honor. I can assure you, I only used high-quality materials and it was crafted meticulously. To call it an "improvised" explosive device is an insult."
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[WP] There's a demon greeter that welcomes new souls to hell. "Hey, we're supposed to torture you until Judgment Day, or something like that, but God never really checks in on us, so there's a minibar while I sort you out." The soul takes off a mask to reveal an angel. "Surprise inspection day!"
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[WP] "There's been a British voice in my head saying, "Bit sad, innit?" for the past week and a half."
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[WP] You had once devoted your life to the dark arts. Learning every curse, learning every dark magic spell and paid tribute to the greatest dark gods. That is, until your betrayal. With nothing left to turn to, you begin learning everything about the light arts.
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[WP] "Yeah, I killed them. Every one of them. The shopkeeper, his wife, kids and extended family on both sides. That was all me." "......We brought you in for Tax Evasion......."
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[WP] The battle is over. The evil cult leader has beaten the hero and their party and has successfully summoned his Dark God. But when the smoke from the ritual disappears, what's standing there is a single white goose.
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[WP] "Me? I'm the source of all evil?" Lucifer chuckles. "No, human. Every evil act you and your kind have committed, has been your own choice. My Father and I never had anything to do with it."
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[WP] You're allowed to steal stuff from the mall. The security guards don't care. They're there to shoot the mannequins if they come to life.
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[WP] "Oh, boy! A fairy!" "Yeah, but I'm a traditional Celtic folklore fairy, so I'm gonna take your soul to pay a tithe to hell and steal half your stuff. Also, you're pregnant with a snake, or something now."
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