/u/Crocutaborealis's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

Year:

Only show posts with narrations

"I'm not paying you to pussyfoot around," my boss had always said, "real men don't waste time on health and safety nonsense."

2593 upvotes

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Oxidising clown corpses bounced into my lane of the highway, but I knew there was no point turning round.

1419 upvotes

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Once we hit cruising altitude, I leapt up and thanked God that I'd overcome my fear of flying.

915 upvotes

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"Don't be afraid, I'm here to help," said the skeleton.

307 upvotes

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Chosen from legions of angels to guard the child, I assumed the form of his favourite toy.

121 upvotes

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If I don't fix this wine stain before my sister wakes up, it'll be one more thing for her to act all superior about.

65 upvotes

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I'm done after cutting back all those weeds.

32 upvotes

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Unable to face the rat race any longer, I took my own life.

12 upvotes

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None of us have been able to stop laughing for hours

7 upvotes

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I wish there were a quick way to end this nightmarish war.

3 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
"I'm not paying you to pussyfoot around," my boss had always said, "real men don't waste time on health and safety nonsense."	2593
Oxidising clown corpses bounced into my lane of the highway, but I knew there was no point turning round.	1419
Once we hit cruising altitude, I leapt up and thanked God that I'd overcome my fear of flying.	915
"Don't be afraid, I'm here to help," said the skeleton.	307
Chosen from legions of angels to guard the child, I assumed the form of his favourite toy.	121
If I don't fix this wine stain before my sister wakes up, it'll be one more thing for her to act all superior about.	65
I'm done after cutting back all those weeds.	32
Unable to face the rat race any longer, I took my own life.	12
None of us have been able to stop laughing for hours	7
I wish there were a quick way to end this nightmarish war.	3