/u/De_faulty's posts
[WP] You are the world's worst criminal, quite literally. But, despite suffering from chronically low competence, you've never been caught.
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[WP] You accidentally teleported yourself to Earth, where hairless monkeys scream at each other everyday. But being an ethereal creature, none of them can see you. With no way back home, you decide to study these strange monkeys while waiting for a rescue team.
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[WP] A transmission from beyond our solar system reads: “We’re sorry children of Earth, we can’t hide you any longer.”
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[WP] You have the ability to possess people, though as long as it is voluntary. So, you run a business where you possess people to fix their lives. Naturally, being successful means people with bigger problems come to you. Your latest client, however, made a deal with the devil, and he wants out.
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[WP] You write preposterous news for a living. Everyone knows it's all lies, you know it's all lies, but it's entertaining enough that people still read them. One day, you discover a secret that would shake the world if revealed. Obviously, no one believes you.
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[WP] "Sorry, there's no more room for you." "Where am I supposed to go then?" "I don't know, why don't you go to heaven? From last I heard, God has trouble finding people to fill it."
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[WP] You were told it was the right thing to do. You thought it would fix everything. Instead, it just got worse. With no one in power, the whole world has fallen into anarchy. Back then, you were called the Chosen One, the one to rid of the Dark Lord. Now, you're called the Agent of Chaos.
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[WP] You've been told to never mess with the chef. You thought it was just for your food to be spit free. One day, he asks you "do you know what eldritch meat tastes like?" Obviously, you don't. So, he pulls out a strange creature of tentacle and eyes, "would you like to?"
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