/u/EarthMarsUranus's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

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Only show posts with narrations

The fortune teller's advert claimed that for $500 she would reveal the exact time and manner of your passing, thus allowing you the chance to escape death.

58 upvotes

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You've turned all the switches off, checked the smoke alarm, checked the kids are breathing and locked the doors.

57 upvotes

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Quivering feebly she dared not take her eyes off the eight legged beast in the corner lest it run forwards and strike.

57 upvotes

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I really hate peas.

56 upvotes

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Why is it that every time I look in a mirror I feel compelled to make strange movements?

56 upvotes

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I felt nauseated watching my dog throw up on my new rug.

55 upvotes

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I thought I could recognise most creatures but as I peered past the bars of the cage and the "Do not feed the exhibits" sign the animals beyond we're completely alien to me.

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Congratulations Mrs Wolowitz, you have a beautiful baby girl.

53 upvotes

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"Don't worry, he won't bite", I assured the mother of the boy who'd approached my dog.

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The oil companies were quick to arrive once the new regime opened previously unexplored territory to drilling.

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
The fortune teller's advert claimed that for $500 she would reveal the exact time and manner of your passing, thus allowing you the chance to escape death.	58
You've turned all the switches off, checked the smoke alarm, checked the kids are breathing and locked the doors.	57
Quivering feebly she dared not take her eyes off the eight legged beast in the corner lest it run forwards and strike.	57
I really hate peas.	56
Why is it that every time I look in a mirror I feel compelled to make strange movements?	56
I felt nauseated watching my dog throw up on my new rug.	55
I thought I could recognise most creatures but as I peered past the bars of the cage and the "Do not feed the exhibits" sign the animals beyond we're completely alien to me.	55
Congratulations Mrs Wolowitz, you have a beautiful baby girl.	53
"Don't worry, he won't bite", I assured the mother of the boy who'd approached my dog.	53
The oil companies were quick to arrive once the new regime opened previously unexplored territory to drilling.	53