/u/ElZoof's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

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Old McDonald had a farm,iä iä o!

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[AUGUST2020]“You’re not me, you don’t know the first thing about me,” she sighed tiredly.

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It was only after I saw the corpse of the cat splayed across the pentagram burned into the lawn that I realised what my dyslectic son had meant when he said he'd found a book that meant Santa would be coming tonight no matter what.

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[AUG21] It has now been proven hundreds of times that capital punishment is an ineffective tool when the goal is to curb aberrant behaviour.

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I really should have asked what happened to the last guy when they offered to promote me to Head of IT.

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It was an amazing trick, the way he managed to make the tattoo of the skull seem to wink and laugh.

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I feel a cold sweat form as I hear the scratching, mewling sound coming from the attic, hoping that I've remembered to keep it locked.

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[MAY2020] I was awoken by a sudden shaking.

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"People keep on making up fairy stories about this stupid monkey's paw and its supposed 'curse'."

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[AUGUST2020] "You're not me, you don't know how to stop them from destroying the world!"

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
Old McDonald had a farm,iä iä o!	10
[AUGUST2020]“You’re not me, you don’t know the first thing about me,” she sighed tiredly.	10
It was only after I saw the corpse of the cat splayed across the pentagram burned into the lawn that I realised what my dyslectic son had meant when he said he'd found a book that meant Santa would be coming tonight no matter what.	10
[AUG21] It has now been proven hundreds of times that capital punishment is an ineffective tool when the goal is to curb aberrant behaviour.	9
I really should have asked what happened to the last guy when they offered to promote me to Head of IT.	9
It was an amazing trick, the way he managed to make the tattoo of the skull seem to wink and laugh.	9
I feel a cold sweat form as I hear the scratching, mewling sound coming from the attic, hoping that I've remembered to keep it locked.	8
[MAY2020] I was awoken by a sudden shaking.	8
"People keep on making up fairy stories about this stupid monkey's paw and its supposed 'curse'."	8
[AUGUST2020] "You're not me, you don't know how to stop them from destroying the world!"	8