/u/Goat_To_Space's posts
[WP] "Hey, I got us tickets to the regatta." "What makes you think I'm interested in a boat race?" "The live-fire regatta. With battleships."
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[WP] As it turns out, the space around Earth is abnormally short on habitable planets compared to the rest of the galaxy. Cue humanity's shock at galactic civilization's appalling lack of expertise in space habitat construction.
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[WP] You're not a Great Old One. You're more of a Mediocre Young One; your parents crushed your dreams of being an artist, you're stuck in a horrible job, and you also happen to be a sanity-rending horror from beyond space and time.
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[WP] These days, most magical artifacts aren't stunning masterpieces of craft. No, the modern enchanter is much more likely to just buy a suitable item from a normal store and shove it full of magic.
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[WP] You've done it! Through healthy eating, exercise, and other good health practices, you've managed to live over a century; more than long enough for technological immortality to be developed. Sadly, your body is now far too old and frail to reliably accept the treatment.
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[WP] You actually aren't an assassin for hire. You just advertise yourself as one, take the suckers' money, and lay low with your ill-gotten gains.
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[WP] After two time machines get totaled in a head-on collision, a completely normal traffic cop has the unenviable task of ticketing the furious time-travelling pilots thereof.
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[WP] You are a Mage of the Realm charged with an unusual task: study these strange new "amusement parks" and open one in your home kingdom.
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[WP] A demon has showed up at your doorstep to inform you that hell's courts have issued a subpoena to appear for a civil suit. The allegation leveled against you? Copyright infringement. Of your soul.
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