/u/GuyAwks's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

Year:

Every week, I prank my insectophobic girlfriend with a new creepy crawly in our apartment.

16471 upvotes

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“You can all have your Walkmans back at the end of the lesson” drones our substitute teacher after confiscating our electronics.

10269 upvotes

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Still madly in love with my ex, I’ve spent all of today leaving him heartfelt voicemail messages.

10254 upvotes

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My mentally challenged brother loves finger-painting, so I let him decorate a bunch of my stuff.

9416 upvotes

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Following my chemotherapy sessions, I always give my waiting husband a passionate kiss.

8165 upvotes

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Overcome by despair, she contemplated being killed quickly by bulls or slowly by rats.

7335 upvotes

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Our casting agency believes in only hiring disabled actors for disabled roles in movies.

7137 upvotes

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My best friend ignored me when I texted him that I’d fallen into a deep depression.

6694 upvotes

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“Congratulations, you are our 5th caller and the winner!” the perky voice declares as I hyperventilate into the phone.

6454 upvotes

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Overwhelmed with depression, I decide to end my life in the middle of my shift.

5767 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
Every week, I prank my insectophobic girlfriend with a new creepy crawly in our apartment.	16471
“You can all have your Walkmans back at the end of the lesson” drones our substitute teacher after confiscating our electronics.	10269
Still madly in love with my ex, I’ve spent all of today leaving him heartfelt voicemail messages.	10254
My mentally challenged brother loves finger-painting, so I let him decorate a bunch of my stuff.	9416
Following my chemotherapy sessions, I always give my waiting husband a passionate kiss.	8165
Overcome by despair, she contemplated being killed quickly by bulls or slowly by rats.	7335
Our casting agency believes in only hiring disabled actors for disabled roles in movies.	7137
My best friend ignored me when I texted him that I’d fallen into a deep depression.	6694
“Congratulations, you are our 5th caller and the winner!” the perky voice declares as I hyperventilate into the phone.	6454
Overwhelmed with depression, I decide to end my life in the middle of my shift.	5767