/u/GuyAwks's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

Year:

Only show posts with narrations

After years of heartache, I was overjoyed the day she finally asked me for a divorce.

167 upvotes

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Even though my gym has a ban on making intimidating noises while working out, I grunt away.

156 upvotes

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With effort, I resist the violent urge to murder long enough to make it to my therapy session.

154 upvotes

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“Don’t worry, buddy, it’s all water under the bridge now” my one-time friend insists to me.

149 upvotes

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"Nature will thank us!" we chanted to the logging crew as we chained ourselves to the trees.

144 upvotes

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The fashion photographer screamed as I opened my lips to reveal a mouthful of eyeballs.

142 upvotes

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“It’s not you, it’s me” my girlfriend tells me with tears streaming down her face.

136 upvotes

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My friend always complained about his itchy red eyes, so I gave him some anti-redness eye drops to fix the problem.

112 upvotes

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“Come to Brazil!” read hundreds of passionate comments left on my social media pages.

110 upvotes

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"Where ever did you get that glowing nail polish, honey?" asked my husband curiously.

107 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
After years of heartache, I was overjoyed the day she finally asked me for a divorce.	167
Even though my gym has a ban on making intimidating noises while working out, I grunt away.	156
With effort, I resist the violent urge to murder long enough to make it to my therapy session.	154
“Don’t worry, buddy, it’s all water under the bridge now” my one-time friend insists to me.	149
"Nature will thank us!" we chanted to the logging crew as we chained ourselves to the trees.	144
The fashion photographer screamed as I opened my lips to reveal a mouthful of eyeballs.	142
“It’s not you, it’s me” my girlfriend tells me with tears streaming down her face.	136
My friend always complained about his itchy red eyes, so I gave him some anti-redness eye drops to fix the problem.	112
“Come to Brazil!” read hundreds of passionate comments left on my social media pages.	110
"Where ever did you get that glowing nail polish, honey?" asked my husband curiously.	107