/u/Hawkeye_Dad's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

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Only show posts with narrations

After Dad’s wake, I walked in my mother’s bedroom to find her crying over an old photo album.

8721 upvotes

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My first day in heaven, God and his choir of angels invited me to an ‘Earth Viewing Party’.

3937 upvotes

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To sustain my immortality, every 1000 years I must become a marble statue for 24 hours.

3639 upvotes

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I squeezed my wife’s hand and watched the doctor intently, excited to finally meet our new baby.

410 upvotes

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After my wife fell on the mountain, I was convicted of her murder.

263 upvotes

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“I’d sell my soul to be home,” I cried.

188 upvotes

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As the drop-off shuttle disappeared into the black expanse, I settled in for a week-long stay in this deep-space station..

132 upvotes

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As John Marshall stepped out carefully from the ARES module, he began reciting the words he had rehearsed for 8 months on the maiden voyage to Mars, calling back triumphantly to home, “Houston, in the course of human endeav____”

85 upvotes

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My broth’r Dave ‘n I ain’t bad men, and ‘r always real careful we don’t hurt nobody when robbin’ folks.

85 upvotes

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“I’ve conditioned myself to only sleep 2.5 hours a night with zero loss of brain function.”

69 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
After Dad’s wake, I walked in my mother’s bedroom to find her crying over an old photo album.	8721
My first day in heaven, God and his choir of angels invited me to an ‘Earth Viewing Party’.	3937
To sustain my immortality, every 1000 years I must become a marble statue for 24 hours.	3639
I squeezed my wife’s hand and watched the doctor intently, excited to finally meet our new baby.	410
After my wife fell on the mountain, I was convicted of her murder.	263
“I’d sell my soul to be home,” I cried.	188
As the drop-off shuttle disappeared into the black expanse, I settled in for a week-long stay in this deep-space station..	132
As John Marshall stepped out carefully from the ARES module, he began reciting the words he had rehearsed for 8 months on the maiden voyage to Mars, calling back triumphantly to home, “Houston, in the course of human endeav____”	85
My broth’r Dave ‘n I ain’t bad men, and ‘r always real careful we don’t hurt nobody when robbin’ folks.	85
“I’ve conditioned myself to only sleep 2.5 hours a night with zero loss of brain function.”	69