/u/HybridPumpkin's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

Year:

"You see, Billy, this is why we need to stay inside."

379 upvotes

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I would always think to myself, "If only I was taller, if only I was more handsome, if only I was stronger."

339 upvotes

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Dad told me Mommy had Parkinson’s Disease, because she was always twitching, and I believed him.

177 upvotes

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I always forget what that kid's name is.

132 upvotes

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I've always read the newspaper obituaries.

75 upvotes

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As a children''s doctor, I find dealing with parents extremely frustrating.

40 upvotes

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There's nothing better than a good pot roast.

37 upvotes

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They say blood is thicker than water.

37 upvotes

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I was desperate for money, but the clinic told me I wasn't healthy enough to donate plasma.

23 upvotes

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My mirror image winked at me, something that I didn't do.

21 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
"You see, Billy, this is why we need to stay inside."	379
I would always think to myself, "If only I was taller, if only I was more handsome, if only I was stronger."	339
Dad told me Mommy had Parkinson’s Disease, because she was always twitching, and I believed him.	177
I always forget what that kid's name is.	132
I've always read the newspaper obituaries.	75
As a children''s doctor, I find dealing with parents extremely frustrating.	40
There's nothing better than a good pot roast.	37
They say blood is thicker than water.	37
I was desperate for money, but the clinic told me I wasn't healthy enough to donate plasma.	23
My mirror image winked at me, something that I didn't do.	21