/u/JessumGui's posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

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With a lawnchair, a bottle of bourbon, and a cigar I'd been saving for a special occasion, I was all set.

55 upvotes

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The lead scientist had prepared an eloquent speech for the moment her team opened the interdimensional portal.

51 upvotes

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The fossilized skull was easy enough to identify; a neanderthal male, approximately 60,000 to 75,000 years old.

50 upvotes

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The killer waved his rusty blade in front of my face.

46 upvotes

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The activists were devastated when their final appeal was rejected and the development, that would destroy an entire habitat, was given the greenlight.

46 upvotes

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"Wow, dreams really do come true," I said, as my crush crawled into bed with me.

43 upvotes

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I thought it would be really cool to get a realistic spider tattoo on my chest.

38 upvotes

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"I don't want to play 'The Floor is Lava' anymore!" the little boy wailed.

33 upvotes

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Do you think it's weird that I always name my pets after the places I found them?

31 upvotes

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People all over the world were delighted when astronomers discovered a new constellation in the night sky.

29 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
With a lawnchair, a bottle of bourbon, and a cigar I'd been saving for a special occasion, I was all set.	55
The lead scientist had prepared an eloquent speech for the moment her team opened the interdimensional portal.	51
The fossilized skull was easy enough to identify; a neanderthal male, approximately 60,000 to 75,000 years old.	50
The killer waved his rusty blade in front of my face.	46
The activists were devastated when their final appeal was rejected and the development, that would destroy an entire habitat, was given the greenlight.	46
"Wow, dreams really do come true," I said, as my crush crawled into bed with me.	43
I thought it would be really cool to get a realistic spider tattoo on my chest.	38
"I don't want to play 'The Floor is Lava' anymore!" the little boy wailed.	33
Do you think it's weird that I always name my pets after the places I found them?	31
People all over the world were delighted when astronomers discovered a new constellation in the night sky.	29